Sequels hebben gemeenschappelijk dat ze alleen maar slechter worden. De vraag van het Shirin Management om een sequel te schrijven over hun zaak getuigt dus van ballen, naïviteit of zelfoverschatting, of een combinatie van deze drie. Het argument dat ze niet alleen Management, maar zelfs Nieuw Management waren overtuigde onze sitekick om een recensie opdracht uit te zetten.
Om zo bevooroordeeld mogelijk deze assignment uit te voeren heb ik zelfs vooronderzoek gedaan. Allereerst heb ik het vorige rapport van Bert, en alle andere rapporten van Bert herlezen. Op grond van een excelsheet met 12 criteria en vijf weegfactoren ben ik tot de conclusie gekomen dat het vorige management van Shirin er genadig van af is gekomen. Het uitzicht over de Waal was goed, het dorpje niet te groot en er was een mooie brug met een historie van filemeldingen.
Alleen het broodje was oud en werd afgeserveerd, maar de vulling was niet eens slecht. Of dat nu een reden is om je zaak over te doen aan Nieuw Management?
Neem nu mijn Chambord recensie. Dan heb je als management een reden om het centrale onderdeel van het personeelsuitje een sprong van de top van de Marinus Nijhof brug te maken, om vervolgens naar Roffa af te drijven.
Naast het lezen van de werken van de King is, ter voorbereiding, een detailstudie gedaan naar de website van de gemeente.
Zaltbommel heeft 26.953 inwoners. Ha denkt het oude management nu: Shirin, The Report was onjuist. Niet dus, want het Dorp is verdeeld over 12 kernen, waarbij er exact 10.000 mensen in het oude dorp wonen. De gemeente site probeert onschuldige toeristen te trekken met de volgende attractie: Erg ludiek in de binnenstad van Zaltbommel zijn de spoken en spookjes die aan de dakgoten van diverse huizen hangen, zitten en liggen. Kortom Bommel gelooft in zichzelf, en het feit dat ze het regionaal kebabcentrum niet voor de spookjes noemen, doet ons het ergste vrezen.
Tenslotte de meest belangrijke stap in de voorbereiding: zijn ze open? Het antwoord op de site is ja, vanaf 12.00 uur.
En dus reizen MaCA en ik naar de zuidzijde van de Waal voor een factfinding mission met als centrale vraag “is Hugo de Groot in zijn boekenkist ontsnapt aan Kasteel Loevestein om vervolging, de spoken op het dak, of de spook van het oude management te ontsnappen”. Een subvraag van het onderzoek is “Kan Bert veilig terug naar de stad van Shirin?” Met een vers gestreken Kebabshirt stappen we in d’n auto.
Eerst gaan we naar Loevestein. We komen er niet heel ver omdat het hoofdkasteel dicht is, maar constateren in ieder geval dat men is voorbereid op eventueel slecht management (zie foto).
Dan is Shirin aan de beurt. We kiezen voor vroeg, dan zijn de broodjes maximaal vers, of wij maximaal snel klaar.
Om 12.45 uur rammelen we aan de deur. Het nieuwe management is er niet in geslaagd om de tent vandaag te openen, of ze hebben ze vooraankondiging gelezen en slaan vandaag uit voorzorg over. De voordeursticker maakt de situatie alleen maar erger. Bovendien blijkt het dorp een straat te hebben vernoemd naar het werk van de King of Kebabreport, dus er lijkt locale acceptatie voor onze mening en een eventuele terugkeer van de King.
Als we ooit van ze horen doen we een laatste poging. Maar weet: Part III is vaak, ondanks dat je het bij de sequel nog niet kan voorstellen, nog slechter. Dromend over betere tijden lopen we terug naar de auto.
https://www.google.nl/maps/place/Boschstraat+68A,+5301+AG+Zaltbommel/@51.811744,5.2496881,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x47c6f384897ab0c7:0x39bef4c631c5bf2?hl=nl
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