Pleuris 2010. Wat mij betreft verbranden we collectief alle kalenders die tijdens deze duistere periode zijn verschenen en hebben we het er met zijn allen nooit meer over. Wat een faal jaar. Toegegeven, ik ben ziek momenteel dus mijn mening is misschien ietwat gekleurd, maar meestal spuit ik alleen dit soort narigheid op dagen die met een M beginnen. En dan wensen de andere reporters nog dat er een top vijf komt ook? Prima, maar dan wel een top vijf gewijd aan de meest afzichtelijke, stinkende, ziekteverwekkende ‘broodjes kebab’ die ik voorgeschoteld gekregen heb.
#1. Doner 66, Utrecht
De grootste belediging tot kebab die ik ooit heb ontvangen. En het was nog mijn introductie in het leven van kebabreporter ook. Leugens op de borden (lamskebab; ‘uniek in Utrecht’. Right.), weinig groen, vreselijk droog vlees en een belachelijk bedrag van €5 voor een broodje wat nog eens erg klein is ook. Toendertijd introductie prijs, inmiddels kost het ‘broodje’ €6.
#2. Fat Tony’s, Leeds
Helaas kan ook ik mij niet beperken tot onze eigen landsgrenzen; nummer 2, is toch echt te vinden in Leeds, Engeland. Je krijgt een wrap met droog eiervlees voor €4. Klaar.
Mijn vermoeden is dat mensen hier uitsluitend komen om ‘Fat Tony’ te vriend te houden, want met een naam als deze moet hij wel vrienden in het verkeerde circuit hebben.
#3. Broodje Nobel, Utrecht
Een zacht wit bolletje met droog eiervlees, een belachelijk bedrag van €4,50 en een verkoper die veel te opdringerig was. Brrr.
#4. Huzur, Utrecht
Helaas, zoals al voorspeld door Bert moet ik er ook een durüm tussen gooien. Nou komt dat o.a. omdat de Huzur geen broodjes verkoopt. Ook geen lamsvlees overigens. Je krijgt een durüm kipsvlees voor €3,50 die je maag er mogelijk toe aan zet om te geloven dat het te eten krijgt. Maar dat eten moet je dan wel ergens anders bestellen, want erg vullend is het voedsel bij Huzur niet. Voornamelijk geschikt na een avondje drinken, zodat je misschien niet meer door hebt dat je durüm kip staat te eten.
#5. Automatiek (K)ruys, Utrecht
Slechtste service ooit, slechtste gezelschap ooit. Stinkende halfdronken gasten die vermoedelijk net in Hoog Catharijne hebben geslapen houden je gezelschap terwijl jij je nauwelijks gegrilde broodje probeert weg te werken. Sla, saus en vlees allemaal erg standaard voor €3,50. Voornamelijk op de maandag vermijden.
Dus, dat was mijn chagrijn weer voor deze week. Gelukkig is dit jaar bijna over. Laten we hopen dat er in 2011 erg veel smakelijke beestjes geboren worden, en heel wat chefs besluiten hun deuren en hun spit voor ons open te stellen. Mijn goede voornemen is om vooral veel mooie verhalen te schrijven. Alvast een gelukkig nieuwjaar!
37 reacties tot nu toe ↓
1 Bert // dec 30, 2010 at 16:31
HAHAHAHA….Goed!!!
2 Jan Beton // dec 30, 2010 at 16:40
Hoe 5 kutzaken toch een mooi verhaal opleveren :)
3 Vriendin Dope // dec 30, 2010 at 17:25
Ach meid toch.. We gaan binnenkort ff zelf een broodje kebab maken bij Ullu in de zaak. Dan ziet alles er een stuk zonniger uit!!!
4 bob kepap // jan 1, 2011 at 21:21
Mooi verhaal! Voor het knippen en scheren van deze zaken krijg je van mij de “Kebarber Award 2010”. Is er toch nog wat goeds uit het jaar voortgekomen.
Krijg je gratis counseling als je zo 10 zaken kan nomen in 1 jaar?
5 Captain Kebab // dec 12, 2011 at 11:54
Voor 2012 raad ik iedereen die niet levensmoe is van harte aan om die gare tent, dat in tegenstelling tot hun vlees, in Purmerend te mijden, de Doner Pizza Plaza.
En ik wil mijn t-shirt!
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