Zo, de kerst weer overleefd. Lekker gegeten, uiteraard, en het was ook nog eens gezellig. Maar toch had ik de hele kerst het gevoel dat ik wat miste. Nee, niet eens een vrouw. Kebab. Misschien juist wel door de anti kerst uitstraling HET kerst voedsel bij uitstek. Maar ook dit jaar kwam het er niet van, zoals het al weken er niet van komt (voor mij) om kebab te eten.
Waarom zou ik dan niet de 3e kerstdag aangrijpen om alsnog kebab te gaan eten? Het mocht wel weer. Ik was erg tevreden met mezelf en dit plannetje en ondanks dat het nog vroeg was leek het me het beste voor mijn honger en humeur dit plan dan maar snel ten uitvoer te brengen.
Probleem dus. Probeer maar eens om half tien ’s morgens kebab te halen. Is niet heel makkelijk. Zeker niet als het dan ook nog maandag is (bah) en je toevallig in Alkmaar bent. Waar je tegenwoordig in elke zichzelf respecterende stad struikelt over de kebabzaken ben ik er in Alkmaar tot nu toe maar vier tegengekomen. En geloof me, ik heb al heel wat Alkmaar gezien. Twee van de vier staan al op deze site. Eentje was dicht. Blijft er eentje over. Ik was er wel eens per ongeluk langs gereden. En had eigenlijk besloten het zo snel mogelijk te vergeten. Iets met een wijk die de naam pauper niet mag hebben, want dat is een belediging voor paupers. De ene helft is al gesloopt, de andere helft is troosteloze bouwput, en dan heb je nog een half ehh, nee, niet dichtgetimmerd maar dicht gelast blok huizen. Met dus de kebabboer, en er tegenover een Nederlandse snackbar. Maakt gelijk duidelijk hoe de eetgewoontes hier waren, niet?
Maar goed, ik moest en zou kebab eten, en de tent zag er open uit, of nee, dat zag het niet, maar ik zag iemand binnen. Dus open. De zaak rook zoals je zou verwachten. Oud vet en rare luchten. Er stond een dikke Turkse moeke mevrouw achter de balie, Broodje besteld. Het vlees kwam ergens van onder de balie vandaan, aangezien het nog vroeg was en er nog geen rol draaiende was. De Turkse moeke nam het mee naar aangrenzend keukentje. Keuken ja, zo een als jij en ik waarschijnlijk ook hebben. Met gasfornuis, aanrechtje, keukenkastjes, gewoon echt een keukentje. Daar stond de Turkse vader meneer in een grote bak met saus te roeren, blijkbaar maken ze die dus zelf. Het vlees ging een pan in, ook zo’n exemplaar zoals oma’s hebben, niet echt wat je verwacht. Het zou zo bij die mensen thuis kunnen zijn.
Het gaf mij wat tijd rond te kijken, en aan alle briefjes te zien was alles hier groot en klein te bestellen. Maar dan ook echt alles. Ik zelf had trouwens een kleine kebab besteld, voor de schappelijke prijs van 3 euro. Groot 4. Zoals ik al zei, het is een rare buurt. Meer dan de helft van de koel vitrine werd in beslag genomen door bier. Groot en klein. En heee, wacht eens even. Is dat? Ja he? Ja! Ze verkopen er dus gewoon gekoelde halve liters Euroshopper. Ja echt ook. Zo’n buurt dus. Heb het niet aangedurft te vragen wat dat zou moesten kosten, aangezien meer dan 40 cent de charme van Euroshopper natuurlijk verpest, maar alsnog : Een kebabtoko die Euroshopper verkoopt, maak me gek! Ik zag drie bakken saus, eentje ongetwijfeld knoflook, eentje die qua kleur wel eens door zou kunnen gaan voor cocktailsaus en een mooie rode ui achtige saus. De sla was paars/zwarte kool, ui, witte kool en een bak grof gesneden komkommer en tomaat. Ja hoor, alles er op! Verdeling was niet echt super, de eerste happen waren lastig, en een beetje te veel. Heb geen enkele saus echt goed kunnen proeven, helaas. Al kwam de knoflook enkele uren later wel nog steeds naar boven, maar op het moment zelf was die smaak spoorloos. Broodje was goed geroosterd. De paarse kool (durf het echt geen rode te noemen, sorry) was best lekker er tussen, al had het wat fijner gesneden mogen zijn. De rest van de sla was ook niet te proeven, mede dankzij de hoeveelheid saus.
En het vlees? Na dus de berg saus en groente weggehapt te hebben kwam ik langzaam bij het vlees. Vlees dat in een vorig leven ongetwijfeld een ei gelegd heeft en een beetje rond fladderde alsof het niets beters te doen had. Of gewoon lekker in een klein kooitje vast zat, omdat het anders toch maar onzinnig rond zou fladderen. Kip dus. WEER KIP DUS. Goed gekruid, absoluut, maar kip. Ach, ze doen maar. Ik was blij dat ik eindelijk weer eens kebab at, ik was blij dat ik een redelijk broodje kebab had, en verder had ik al genoeg ander vlees gegeten de laatste dagen. Of de zaak er nog lang blijft zitten? Ik betwijfel het, de boel zal wel snel plat gaan. Maar voor een redelijk geprijsd redelijk broodje en een koude euroshopper kun je best hier zijn.
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