Oh, wat heb ik het toch zwaar. Salade met mozzarella, twee biefstukjes die
ik zo de pan in ga smijten, glaasje rode wijn er bij. En toch loop ik al de
hele dag met een onbestemd gevoel rond. Melancholisch bijna. Zeg maar een
toestand waarbij “Perfect day” van Lou Reed de perfecte soundtrack is.
Wetende dat ik het goed heb en je toch kut voelen. Uren door een grijs
Nederland heen rijden helpt ook al niet echt mee aan een positief gevoel.
Kwam dit door een bijzonder tof geschreven stukje dat ik gister las? Een
stukje over de verschillen tussen Nederland en een land ver weg, een land
waar ze het allemaal wat minder hebben? Het zal toch niet? Zou de ver van
mijn bed show me dan toch een beetje geraakt hebben? Nee, eigenlijk niet, of
ja, toch een beetje. Het is meer mijn eeuwige gemijmer tijdens de ritjes die
ik door het land maak. Gedachten aan dingen die ik gedaan heb of juist niet.
Het andere geslacht. Verbroken relaties of relaties die er nooit geweest zijn.
Het feit dat mijn geld altijd op is. Ergernissen aan
van alles en nog wat. Aan mensen, aan gepimpte auto’s met aso bestuurders,
er is zo veel om je druk over te maken. Ik weet dat ik me druk zou moeten
maken om de misstanden in de wereld, maar ik kan nu eenmaal niet het gewicht
van de wereld op mijn schouders dragen. En ergens wil ik dat ook helemaal
niet. Egoïstisch als ik kan zijn. Ik erger me liever aan dingen om me heen,
dingen die ik dagelijks zie. Misschien dat ik door het gelezen stukje toch
iets meer stil ben gaan staan bij mijn gezeik. Ik weet wel dat ik het goed
heb, maar het kan geen kwaad om daar soms weer even bij stil te staan.
Durf ik in dit licht, na al mijn overpeinzingen nog te gaan zeiken over een broodje kebab? Of over het feit dat ik aan het eind van de maand even geen broodje kan halen? Durf ik te gaan zeiken over hoe ik op een mobiele telefoon (mobiele telefoon ja, wij hebben die luxe) geen kebab zaak in Castricum kon vinden? Moet ik nou echt zeggen dat ik voor 3,50 euro een broodje heb gekocht dat me tegen viel, omdat er te weinig vlees in zat en de groente tegen viel? Dat de sambal niet te proeven was en de knoflooksaus ook niet echt overheersend was? Waarom zou ik zeuren over lekkere smaakjes die ik vorige keer bij een ander filiaal wel proefde en nu niet? Wees blij dat je zoveel geld kan uitgeven aan een tussendoortje meneer Beton!
Jajaja, ik weet het. Dit is een kebab site gemaakt door een stelletje zeikerds. En daar zijn we goed in. Maar laat mij nu even mijn kleine momentje van bezinning hebben. Het waait wel weer over, met een dag of wat. Zolang ik niet zelf naar een arm land ga en de boel zelf mee maak. En dat was ik (nog) niet van plan.
Goed, nu nog wat technische info. De bezochte tent was Mekan, waarvan er dus ook een in Uitgeest zit die me beter beviel. Ergens in de dorpsstraat van Castricum, zo’n straat met veel winkels, ik neem aan dat die de dorpsstraat heet. Zoek het uit, je vind het wel, zo groot is Castricum vast niet. Oh, en ze hebben olijke kebabzakjes, weer eens wat anders dan de standaard zakjes die ik altijd zie, maar goed, daar win je geen oorlog mee en ze maken het broodje niet lekkerder. Maar dat maakt niet uit, voor deze ene keer.
58 reacties tot nu toe ↓
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