Nou. Het moet maar. Op zaterdag om 7.00 op om kebab te eten. Ik lijk wel gek, maar in de woorden van Ben Brak: “Tja, we hebben werk te doen. Nee wacht, eigenlijk is dit geen werk, dit is een roeping.” En dus sta ik om 7.00 op. Ik wrijf de slaap uit mijn ogen, zet een grote mok koffie en eet drie happen kwark omdat ik helemaal zonder voedsel niet functioneer. Vervolgens onderweg naar het centraal station om Ben en Bert op te wachten. Ondertussen worstel ik met een ov chipkaart die bij iedere keer in- en uitchecken blèrt dat de kaart niet geldig is. Dat ding moeten ze ook zo snel mogelijk afschaffen.
Terwijl ik sta te wachten op mijn medereporters komt een vriend van me aangelopen. Haar overal, glazige blik in de ogen, en een ietwat chagrijnige: “Huh, wat doe jij hier zo vroeg?”. De uitleg dat je naar Den Haag gaat met een stel andere halve zolen om dood dier te eten lijkt dan niet voldoende uitleg. Tja, iemand moet het doen. En met plezier!
Als Bert en Ben eenmaal aangekomen zijn beginnen we aan onze ietwat moeizame reis richting de Dappermarkt, ondertussen vaak geplaagd door pings van Vriendin Nummer B onder het mom: “Waar zijn jullie?” en “Welke trein pakken jullie nou?”. Gelukkig lijken we dat zelf niet helemaal te weten dus de chaos is compleet.
Uiteindelijk zijn we er dan; Muiderpoort. Hier ontmoet ik eindelijk eens de rest van mijn medereporters. Het was alles wat ik verwacht had en meer. De wolken braken open, de zon scheen, de vogeltjes fladderden en ergens in de verte hoorde ik volgens mij prachtige sirenen zingen; hier zijn mensen die mij begrijpen. En masse vertrekken we richting de Dappermarkt waar mij het broodje der broodjes is beloofd. Ondertussen ouwehoeren we wat onderling en zijn we het met zijn allen eens; we hebben honger.
Het broodje op de Dappermarkt was precies zoals anderen het al beschreven hebben; goed. Met een grote grijns zitten we te smikkelen en wordt er ronduit besproken wat er allemaal lekker aan is en waarom de verkoper een showman is. Na het broodje op gegeten te hebben (nou ja, nadat de MEESTE van ons hem op aten; je weet wie je bent.) gaan we op zoek naar iemand die ons bier wil verkopen en gaan we door naar het station. Voldoende uitgerust voor de rest van de dag wachten we op de trein.
In de trein laten we het eerste broodje van de dag bezinken en bereiden we ons mentaal voor op het werk dat komen gaat. In Leiden voegt Vriendin nummer B zich bij ons, en in Den Haag ontmoeten we onze tourgids Tedje Agga, en het gezelschap is compleet.
Voor het eerste broodje in Den Haag getest kan worden worden we onderschept door verscheidene politiewagens. We bevinden ons in een noodzone en daar mag je niet rondlopen met geopende blikjes alcohol. Een bekeuring voor het merendeel van het gezelschap. Ik besluit Den Haag maar in Den Haat om te dopen en doe mijn uiterste best om dit gebeuren de dag niet te laten verzieken.
Om de sfeer er in te houden worden er onmiddellijk kebab zaken gelokaliseerd. Na de andere reporters voor te laten gaan komen we aan bij Bakkerij Maxima. Gelukkig zijn de medereporters ook van mening dat ik eens aan de bak mag. Ik heb ook al een persoonlijke affiniteit met Maxima aangezien ik haar in het echt gezien heb, ze naar me gezwaaid heeft en ‘Dag!’ zei. Duidelijk een topwijf, dus die zaak is vast ook goed. Daarnaast ben ik er inmiddels van overtuigd dat alle slechte broodjes zich als een magneet op mij storten, en de Maxima staat bekend als een goede zaak. Ze adverteren er zelf in ieder geval wel vrolijk mee. De mijne dus.
Terwijl de groep buiten geduldig wacht en sommigen nieuwsgierig naar binnen staren stappen Tedje en ik samen de Maxima in. Hij belast met eerdere kennis van zaken, ik met een ongeschonden blik. Door de eerder opgebouwde spanning ben ik volstrekt vergeten te kijken hoe het broodje geprepareerd werd. Het was in ieder geval lamsvlees, en ik betaalde €3,25. De set up van de zaak zag er in ieder geval een stuk verzorgder en verser uit dan ik in heel Utrecht gewend ben. Het broodje was een geroosterd maïsachtig fenomeen met gaatjes. Lekker knapperig, maar niet te. Het groenvoer vers, sla, ui en tomaat, erg vers. De knoflooksaus heeft geen blijvende impressie achtergelaten, dus ik vermoed vrij standaard. Wat ik wel weet; de verdeling van het geheel was uitmuntend. Het vlees was heerlijk overal aanwezig en werd gecomplimenteerd door de sla en de saus. Tot op de laatste hap had ik een grijns van oor tot oor. EINDELIJK mocht ik ook eens wat lekkers eten. Blijkbaar werkte mijn vrolijkheid aanstekelijk. Dat, of ik zag de wereld door een roze bril, maar ook mijn mede reporters leken vrolijk te worden van het aanzicht.
Vervolgens om Tedje een lol te doen werd er ook bij de Aksu Firini gegeten, en ik probeerde een hap van het broodje van Vriendin Nummer B om zijn uitgesproken mening over het vlees te kunnen beoordelen. Hij had gelijk, het vlees bij Aksu is smakelijker. Verder gaat mijn voorkeur toch uit naar de Maxima.
Na wij allen een paar zaken beoordeelt hadden en de algehele verbazing over de hoeveelheid voedsel die Bert kan wegwerken een beetje was weg geëbd deden we samen nog een drankje om de dag af te sluiten. Prachtig overigens dat je in bepaalde café’s in Den Haag wel mag blowen, maar als je wil roken moet je naar de aparte rookruimte. Alleen in Nederland.
Zodra de perikelen van de dag waren besproken en we ook onze mening over Den Haag nog een paar keer vocaliseerden was het weer tijd om naar huis te gaan. Stil, moe, maar voldaan zakten we heerlijk in elkaar in de trein. Het was een spectaculaire dag.
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