Iboooooooo rock on!
“Op zaterdag deed ik Breda, het was goed weer. De kebab was lang niet slecht ook.
Na de helse reis terug naar de bewoonde wereld per trein, brandend of niet, werd het uiteindelijk zondag.
Hey…regen! Wat een feest!
Vanuit mijn hok verkassen we naar, jawel, Amsterdam.”
Kijk, zo begon ik dus net aan een report, een minuut of drie, vier geleden.
Het zal wel liggen aan die fles Urrudurrugaga DIE IK NET, oh caps lock…opdronk bij mn moeder thuis.
Ik mag niet tè lang van stof zijn, maar dat gaat toch niet lukken…wat de hel ook.
Even focussen, dit is belangrijk.
Ah.
Ik bezocht die regenachtige zondag dus die tent van Bertje zn kebabtour om mn döner te laten customizen, wat lukte.
Betaalde dezelfde vier euro, maar kreeg wel een neo-döner ervoor terug.
Jawel, ik zeg: deze tent heeft potentie….genoeg potentie om ervoor om te rijden.
Je hoort het; je kan ervoor OM rijden.
Serieus.
Ik heb zoiets van….tot nu toe is dit de enige tent die soort van ‘in de buurt’ komt van de DapperKING™.
Die gast is chill, zn shit is chill, de hele setting is chill en als je achteraf op straat loopt met je broodje zeg je de hele tijd dingen als: “Damn”, “Poooeeeh heee” en “Zozo nou nou, dasniemis”.
Ach ja, dit report gaat eigenlijk over een andere tent dus laat ik daar dan maar over verder gaan.
Kip? Kalf? Weense wals? Iemand?
Ik had pauze.
Ik ben een slaaf, ik kan het niet genoeg pinpointen, een fuckin’ slaaf.
Om de telefoon en het gezeik van eikels te ontlopen, moet ik dus eigenlijk naar buiten gaan.
Waar ik werk is niks.
Lelijke gasten, auto’s, eksters en asfalt.
Dus reed ik naar de Poort, een verschrikkelijke ghettomall bij treinstation Amsterdam Bijlmer.
De vorige keer deed ik die ene toko, nu frequenteerde ik de Corner.
Het is gewoon DAAR ergens, zo groot is het niet..twee stappen en je ziet het al, het is niet alsof de gevel er bedeesd uitziet.
Ik bestelde, het was niet erg druk, wat me beviel.
Normaal..kijk…die hele Poort loopt vol met allerhande slaven die hun hele pauze bij bakker Bart gaan staan te lullen over hun suffe Excelsheets en motiverende powerpointbeukers over multipurpose facilities…
Wat een verschrikking is dit toch!
Ik bestelde.
Klein, 3.50.
Aardige dude.
Hij is niet zo moeilijk.
Rode kool? Tuurlijk.
Rucola? Tuurlijk.
Ui? Augurk? Tuurlijk. Tuurlijk.
Afijn.
De extra’s…ik vond ze de moeite waard. Ook al slaat dat plaatje nergens op.
Kijk, de Ibo hierboven….hmmm.
Maar als je toevallig in de Poort loopt en hebt zin in kebab…..
(wat ik me overigens niet kan indenken, want in de Poort eet je gewoon broodjes kip MET peper en zuur of garnalen met kouseband. In ieder geval iets in die sfeer).
Maar kom, rucola….is best lekker in je broodje kebab hoor, neem het gewoon aan.
De Corner dus, best een goeie ghettofeel, redelijk snelle service, aardige lui en extraatjes waar ze niet lastig over doen.
Kijk, nu klinkt het alsof ik een brok goud aantrof in mn tegels in de tuin maar nee…
Het vlees was gewoon…vlees. Geen Oscarmateriaal, geen Pulitzer, geen TMF-award, geen moeder Theresa Life timevingerinjehol..het was gewoon vlees.
Broodje was een gewone ‘bun’, gewoon, geen stijve.
Best redelijk allemaal hoor, maar laten we niet doen of we de oorlog hebben gewonnen met drie streepies rode kool en een augurrekie. Realisme defeats Urruuudddugggaga once and for all.
“Whopper junior..nee, geen menu, alleen de burger, geen kaas, extra pickles. Ja, hier opeten”.
Soms heb je geen laatste woorden nodig, maar zijn ze er gewoon.
https://www.google.nl/maps/place/Amsta+-+De+Poort/@52.3732944,4.8733857,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x47c609c69308dced:0x299294c1a70135ad?hl=nl
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