Zo nu en dan vraag ik me ernstig af wat er mis is met de wereld. Met de mensheid. Met bedrijven. En, vooruit, misschien met mezelf. Ik zie het volgende voor me : de wekelijkse vergadering bij de hoge pipo’s van de Albert Heijn. Ze balen van de winst. Het valt tegen. Als Nederland na één televisie avond al een tiende van je winst bijeen weet te schrapen voor een land waar ze de Albert Heijn niet eens kennen is het natuurlijk wel heel erg met je gesteld. Er moest iets nieuws komen, iets revolutionairs. Iets dat de winst weer op zal gaan krikken. Wat dacht je bijvoorbeeld van kebab borrelnootjes? Instemmend werd er geknikt, dat zou het wel moeten gaan doen. Kijk, dat bedoel ik. Waar is het mis gegaan? Nootjes! Nootjes met kebab smaak! Wat?! Waarom? Wat er mis is met mij weet ik wel. Ik ben kebabreporter. Ik moet dit testen. Maar waarom zou enig ander normaal denkend mens dit willen?
Aangezien ik vroeger nog dikker was dan nu en dat voor een groot gedeelte te wijten was aan mijn borrelnootjes verslaving loop ik tegenwoordig nooit meer langs het borrelnootjes schap. Het bestaan van deze nootjes is dus geheel aan mij voorbij gegaan. Totdat onze trouwe fan Oscar er een plaatje van plaatste op onze Facebook pagina. Nu moest ik wel. Ik hoopte ergens nog dat de kleine Appie bij mij om de hoek ze niet zou hebben. Maar helaas. Ze lagen er. Voor 1,75 per zak. Ik durf het aan. De kans op terugval acht ik klein. Geen 5 zakken per week meer. Ik ben sterker dan dat.
Hoe het smaakt? Wat denk je? Als borrelnootjes, ondergedompeld in een overvloed aan kruiden. Misschien iets te heftige kruiden. Maar als je me blind zou laten proeven zou ik er nooit kebab uit halen. Als je van borrelnootjes houdt zijn ze niet eens erg verkeerd. Al hield ik meer van die zonder al te veel kruiden. Deze zijn erg aanwezig. Maar op een gemiddelde vrijdagmiddagborrel zouden ze niet eens misstaan. Maar vanaf nu loop ik gewoon weer hard het schap met borrelnootjes voorbij.
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